哭过就好了

当你笑着告诉我“没事”的时候，我已经看到了你眼里的哀伤。

过去的感情，你还没完全忘掉。但是我问你，曾经刻骨铭心，你以为说忘就忘的吗？

你说你讨厌自己的习惯，讨厌自己的坏脾气，但我看到了你的用心。你已经一点一滴在进步了，只是你没察觉到。

你说你悲伤，因为得不到朋友的谅解。虽然你这么说，不管怎样我还是会站在你的身旁，支持你。

我知道你渴望他人的关怀，同时也很想要学习不依赖他人。这种心情我明白，因为我也曾有过。

真正的好朋友，是会在你失落时帮助你，当你有什么不对时会站出来告诉你。他们不是要你难堪，而是希望你知道你哪里错了，因为他们也不希望他们会因你的一些缺点或是过错而远离你。

真的，有时候不一定要这么坚强。

这些只是人生中必经的一些考验。

你是个聪明人，只是有时候太过感性了。你知道该怎么做的。

谁说我们无时无刻都一定要这么坚强？每个人都有软弱的时候。

哭过，就好了。

请你一定要相信我，我永远都会在你身旁。

I am surprised, I really am.

Thanks for letting me know the truth, I must admit that you are right and it's all my fault. I am just a bit too careless and I thought I can have others' understanding.

Oh well.. Life goes on. I am just going to focus on my studies. I don't need their understanding at the moment.

Disappointed, yet I can do nothing about it. I am just gonna suck it and move on.

I am determined, and I am glad that I am now living with a purpose.

I am enjoying my stuvac. =)

给自己的话

“你赶走了寂寞，心痛却紧紧跟随。”

Aloha!

“消失”了一段时间，只因为无时无刻都在啃书，没有心思去做些别的东西。

这个stuvac是我最有效率的一次，很开心能够心无旁骛的读书。话说回来，这是我大学生涯的最后一次考试了，竟然这个时候才开始发现读书的乐趣，真是惭愧啊。。

昨天和你聊了两句，心里竟然还是浮起阵阵的涟漪。。我說我读书读到有点头痛，你说我一直以来在考试期间都会因为压力过大、心情不好、头痛、头晕等等。然后叫我放松些，做自己喜欢做的东西，吃自己喜欢吃的东西来放松自己。

这些话，除了你就没有人会跟我说了。

很多话想说，但不知从何说起。我想说，我现在不需要人照顾，因为我已经学会了照顾自己。吃东西，也不这么随便了，总是会想煮些有营养又很简单的东西。睡眠，我也尽量的让自己睡饱，养足精神读书。读书，也没以前压力那么大了。反而发现我有点享受读书的乐趣，虽然很累，虽然很困难，但是却没像以前那样觉得很苦。

这几天，我都处于anti-social的状况，除了一起读书的朋友和今晚打乒乓之外，不是读书就是睡觉。因为我清楚自己的心思完全是在书上，对于其他东西，能避免的就避免，而且了解自己的脾气会有点不耐烦，所以也没心情跟人家嘻嘻哈哈。

今晚，睡了一觉后跑到 International House 去找Wee Han还有 Wu Chuan打乒乓。球技退步蛮多的，但是这不重要，重要的是我享受了打球的过程，以及放松了自己，让自己没有那么紧绷。打乒乓的中间还打了一局的pool，两个都是我很久没碰过的运动了。所以算是还打得不错吧！

打完球回来，突然间有点空虚的感觉，想找个人说说话，却一个人都找不到。还是说句老实话，除了真的很要好的人或是很了解我的人，我谁都不想找。是自己的问题吧！已经习惯了把东西都往里吞，不开心，也不想找个人来谈。

曾经怀疑我会这样的原因，也许是我对很多人都不再那么信任？也许我知道说出来也没有用，因为很多东西我已经知道解决的方法了，是看自己的决心够不够强而已。一段时间的沉静，确实能够帮助自己了解自己，也看清了自己的弱点。我知道自己是个很喜欢拖延时间的人，所以我开始在Diary上记录下我每天该做的东西，然后逼迫自己该做什么就做什么。我知道自己心是散乱的，我也尽量的把能够分散我注意力的东西，譬如Facebook给去除掉。

我知道自己是个不甘寂寞的人，所以我想要习惯寂寞。

孤单，也有孤单的乐趣，难道不是吗？

我希望你相信

忘了悲忘了喜 只要我俩在一起

不管明天的路更漫长

今夜我会更加珍惜

我希望你相信 说过的话都真心

就算是风是雪是晴是雨

这份情永不忘记

日日夜夜的思念 盼往事再重演

千千万万句诺言 用时间来考验

浮浮沉沉人世间 看似苦海无边

聚聚散散一线牵 我和你相距并不远

我的心 只有我的心

才知道你心中的怀疑

我等你 等你可以说出心中的秘密

盼望你 真的盼望你

原谅我对你不够小心

把过去 让他过去 今生决定只爱你

有欢笑有哭泣 你的心情总不定

感觉有些话藏在心底

你永远不想说明

我希望你相信 说过的话都真心

Wonderful day

Happy day today. Very satisfying indeed..

Stay tuned with more stories.

Finally can have a good night sleep.

=)

Not feeling happy at the moment. There might be a few reasons:

1) What happened during last weekend makes me understand myself a bit more. It's hard to accept the truth, yet I know that there's nothing I can do about it apart from not thinking about it.

2) Stress from studies and assignments. I know that my mood will always be like this whenever I am feeling stress. I am missing the only person who can give me some happiness even if I am really stressed out. Oh well..

3) Stress from group mates. Can't you guys just be a bit more patient and stop calling the whole wide world when it's not the due date yet?

4) Can you just let me decide what I wanna do and stop nagging me about it?

Believe it or not, the Wayne Rooney saga upsets me too. It's disappointing to see Man Utd to be in such situation. Wayne Rooney, you disappoint me SO MUCH. It's even sadder to see an emotional Sir Alex Ferguson. No matter how much achievements and how much power he has, to me he looks like a sad old man in the press conference last night. No matter what, I will always be a Man Utd fan, and go through this tough period with them. Sigh.

I think I should be a bit more anti-social recently to stop upsetting people around me.

I think I should sleep less and work harder.

I think I should be a bit more decisive.

I think I should be a bit more heartless.

Maybe what I should really do now is to take a nap.

美好

有些人，是你认识他/她多一点后，会变得不想跟他亲近。

有些人，在你了解多一点后，从此在你心里会有一个重要的位置。

你在我心中的角落，竟然是如此的重要。

很安静的一个早上，静静地听着“如果.爱”，心里浮现了很多美好的感觉。

希望你，也能拥有这份感觉。 =)

今天，该加油了。

Perhaps. Love

在这个视频里看到了这一段文字，觉得非常有道理。

“爱
不是牺牲，不是占有，而是成全。
拥有爱情时，要让对方自由。
失去爱情时，更要让爱自由。”

为你带来- “如果. 爱”

这首歌的旋律较为平淡，要唱得好听，真的很难。看看一些人在Youtube的留言吧：

• 唱得非常動聽啊!!!

  而且他唱歌時,microphone貼那麼近也完成聽不到吸氣聲,真的很厲害

• 中低音的歌其实不容易唱。虽然不需要太多技巧，但是需以情动人，而且容易唱到断气。

  至于歌神的表现，我只能无语。零瑕疵。个人觉得胜过录音棚的效果。

• 一直聽著..

  忽然眼睛自然地流出淚來..而不是想起誰...

  除了學友還可有誰...

• 他是没人能代替的，他的歌，他的真诚，值得我们一辈子爱护他。

• • Really wish he will have one more tour in his and my life time... just to see him live... the quality of his voice... not just from talent... but from his heart and quality as a person.... of all the HK stars with scandal or materialistic mind set... he has a stable mind, a family man... which keep him grounded and spreading his love for 3 generations....

• 就算受伤，就算流泪，都是生命里温柔灌溉。
• 如果这就是爱。

想和你去吹吹风

没有一首歌更能比这首歌形容我这一刻的心情。

想和你再去吹吹風　雖然已是不同時空
還是可以迎著風　隨意說說心裡的夢

感情浮浮沈沈　世事顛顛倒倒
一顆心硬硬冷冷　感動愈來愈少
繁華色彩光影　誰不為它迷倒
笑眼淚光看自己　感覺有些寂寥

想起你　愛恨早已不再縈繞　那情份還有些味道
喜怒哀樂依然圍繞　能分享的人哪裡去尋找

很想和你再去吹吹風　去吹吹風
風會帶走一切　短暫的輕鬆
讓我們像從前一樣　安安靜靜
什麼都不必說你總是能懂

想和你再去吹吹風　雖然已是不同時空
還是可以迎著風　隨意說說心裡的夢
的夢　吹吹風

“其实我也感激，当我听说你还相信爱情”

昨天Cook of the year结束后，觉得自己坐在椅子上都能睡着了，匆忙地把自己的碗碟给收拾好，和组员们回到虹仪的家帮她收拾那零乱的厨房。

回到家就一头栽进被窝里了。睡了大约有一个多小时吧！醒来后也很懒惰煮东西，只喝了一杯麦片当晚餐。

十二点，一个人走到Sports bar去看足球和网球。这应该算是我在一个月里面第二次半夜自己一个人跑去看球了。

当时心理飘过了这样的念头：如果爸爸现在在我身边陪我一起看，不知该有多好啊！

回到家，刷个牙洗个脸，也快三点半了。

今早醒来，一下床就冲到厕所刷牙洗澡，然后就背着背包到大学去了。

走路的途中，发觉肚子很饿，就到85度去买面包当早餐。

一踏进85，就听到一个很熟悉的前奏。仔细一听，原来是刘若英的“听说”。

听着听着，眼眶竟然不自觉的泛红了起来。选好了面包，就匆忙地往大学走去。

自己也很想问问自己 “你还好吗？”

别问我，因为我也不知道。

我真的不知道。

Focus Please

Very stress right now.

I realised that I have been really reluctant to wake up in the morning, it always takes me around half an hour to get out of my bed recently.

This morning I question the reason of me feeling so lazy.. Is it because I am physically so tired? Or I am mentally tired? Or I am just feeling stressed?

I don't know the reason, and I think it's probably a mix of everything. It is not a very good feeling when you need to submit 8 assessments in 2 weeks time, especially when they are all SO HARD.

Yet, I am facing a tough exam ahead of me and there are a lot of other things going on in my life. For example, I still have to do some of my Honours application stuff, prepare for EDT, reply emails, buy chili for COTY, and start planning for moving house at the end of my exam in this early morning.. And awaiting me is COTY tomorrow and I know I will probably be very tired after the event.

Frustrated, but it's useless to feel upset about it. Just focus on doing things that I am doing then move on will be the best solution.

I am lack of motivation right now.. And I know I am the best person to give myself the motivation that I want.

Before I found that, I just need to focus.

醒来，看着手机的时间，七点半了。

躺在关着灯的房间，突然头有点痛。

有种很慵懒的感觉，心里想着“如果可以什么都不做，那该多好”。

随之而来的，是一种很空虚的感觉。

肚子有点饿，却又很懒惰动手煮晚餐。出去吃，又不想一个人。很巧的，剩余的炒饭昨天也吃完了...

算了，不吃了。

开了灯，坐在书桌前发呆，听了两首歌。

想了一想，决定去Unibuds Library一下，虽然那里也没有人，至少空间没那么小，不会那么闷。

跑到了大学，逃避了我暂时的孤单，

对你的思念，我该怎么逃避？

直觉

心 是一个容器

不停的累积 关于你的点点滴滴
虽然我 总守口如瓶
思念却满溢 溅湿了我眼睛

因为 我太想念你 所以才害怕
这孤独大的不着边际
若 此刻能奔向你
紧紧拥抱你 我会毫不迟疑

直觉我们应属于彼此
否则我不会每次无法停止
想你想成了心事
等你等成了坚持
眼中渴望来不及掩饰 又如此诚实

直觉我们应属于彼此
否则我不会常常若有所失
白天眨眼瞬间里
夜晚呼吸气息里
都写满了我是多么爱你想你的讯息

I am a Buddhist

I am proud to say that I am a Buddhist.

He told me this for a few times: the advantage I have compare to the others is I have a lot of Buddhist knowledge in my mind and I have done a lot of readings.

Although I don't think I have practiced it very well in my life, but then I can see some changes in my thinking recently.

I have learnt not to judge anything just based on what I see and what I think. What I see might not be true, and what I think might be biased.

The Buddha said that everything arises due to causes and conditions and is subject to change. Who am I to judge all these causes and conditions? Who am I to hate a person because of that person's attitude?

Probably that's why I never really hate a person. I think that's how wisdom and compassion work hand in hand. Either one is important and you can't say which one is more important than the other.

Buddhism is a religion that helps us to solve our problems. Buddhism is a religion that could relieve all our suffering if we really practice it. Buddhism is a peaceful religion that have never started a war. The Buddha is a wise person who asked us to question everything he said and don't just believe him blindly. Buddhism is a religion that has been proven right by science and by questions, as opposed to the other religions in the world.

That's why I am so proud to be a Buddhist. I know that it's gonna be my direction of life. =)

About life

Woke up early in the morning because I slept early last night, was feeling fresh and ready to go.

Prepared for my lab quiz today, and read a couple of journal articles related to the Honours project by Professor Ian Dawes.

11am, met Gabriel who is a post-doc of Ian Dawes. Heard that he's very capable so I was a bit nervous when meeting him.

Surprisingly, he is more friendly than I thought. Can see that he's very enthusiastic in what he's doing and he talked to me for around 45 minutes regarding the project he's doing. Quite surprising to know that Ian Dawes does remember me and Gabe looks pretty positive.

Ppl have been telling me how good this lab is and how fortunate you are if you are able to get into Ian Dawes' lab. Please, I would really wanna get in and do Honours there. Not only because of the lab is rich but also the project is exciting to me.

After that, attended Biopharm lab and the quiz almost killed me!

When the lab ended, went to groceries shopping although feeling a bit tired. Get myself just 2 pieces of bread and a cup of soya milk as dinner before I head to the uni again.

Attended a careers night organised by BABS, hence only managed to attend CDT for 20 minutes. It was great to hear from 3 scientists regarding their career path and it's very generous of them to share their experience.

Am I suitable to be a scientist? What kind of life I would want? Will I enjoy working in a lab everyday?

All these questions are in my mind recently. I know that these questions can't be answered until I actually do my Honours or probably work for a year. But I just can't stop thinking.

I am starting to think about my life as a whole. What do I wanna achieve in my life, and what do I really want along the way to achieve my goal.

As a Uni student for almost 3 years, this is the first time I am serious about all these. Which is a good sign I think.

Now I am sitting in law library after another tiring day, checking mails and writing this post. Just trying to chill a lil bit before facing another "war" when I get home.

PS: Finally there's a good news after a tiring day!!! Received the marks for my biotech lab report and assignment which is satisfying. This semester is not that bad after all. More hard work need to be done for sure.

寂寞的男人

难怪，他当了将近二十年的“歌神”。技巧完全没有缺点，该重的音重，该轻的轻，每一个字都拿捏得很好。很多歌手唱歌技巧很好，可是缺少感情。张学友的优点是他的感情饱满，而且声音有一种莫名的吸引力。

技巧和感情都满分，要多少年才能出个像张学友的演唱者？

唱这首歌时，他患上了鼻炎而且声音有点沙哑，还能唱出这么高的水准。

他已经是个传奇了。

繁忙的工作　加一把勁來過渡
無聊的交際　祇管把笑容製造
回家　打開一副電腦
模擬找到　模擬傾訴　模擬很好
從來不知道　怎麼竟各行各路
從前的一套　今天仔細仍照做
夜深　粉紫色這外套
模擬起舞　模擬擁抱　模擬得到

仍然能擁有夢想跟前途
仍然能擁有自尊跟自豪
仍然明知許多女伴　一轉身會遇到
為何感到　這不算最好
明明從不信天荒跟地老
明明從不會後悔得不到
明明從新掌握去做　我總可以做到
為何今晚我不懂如何　告別煩惱

浮華掌聲裡　祇想一個人讚慕
從難關出發　心境可向誰透露
是否　悲歡早有定數
何時得到　何時失去　誰能猜到

Blue Weekend

我的孤寂

说给谁听

只想找个人聊聊而已

他在哪里？