I realised that recently, I am more capable of pulling myself out of a deep shit. I just tell myself, Ian Ch'ng please get out of this shit and live your life happily, because everyone that loves you wouldn't want to see you being so miserable.

My mood does not fluctuate as long as I thought I will. I am glad that I have this ability now.. To be more stable and calm.

What is the reason? I am not sure. Perhaps........ I dunno.

妈，原谅我不常告诉你我在这里的烦恼。因为不想让你担心，我选择把一切都收起来，因为我也明白你知道后会有的反应。我只想一个人在这里坚强点，做出些东西让你和爸为我感到光荣。